Beware of starting a relationship with a writer. They are human and have some or all the foibles, the charms, the weaknesses, and inconsistencies exhibited by the male of the species. That being said, there are some things specific to artists, and a few peculiarities attributable to writers alone.
All of them have at least some of the following traits. Some of them have all of them. I repeat, All of them have at least some of the following traits. Some of them have all of them
Artists are unconventional people. They do not often follow the norms of polite society and this often puts them at odds with “normal” persons. If they follow rules they are often of their own making and do not necessarily follow society’s rule book. The very few who gain fame and fortune are especially afflicted with these attributes.
Artists are frequently unkempt and unconcerned about their personal appearance, their place of residence or their workplace. Since they usually work alone they do not have to worry about interference of any kind from other people. As a result they often lack social skills and can be opinionated and even uncivil.
They treat money and finances in the same manner and rarely have enough to live on. Those who have money usually inherited it or have a sponsor, (or sugar momma) sometimes unwilling, who provides for their needs. When a windfall comes for any reason, even their own success, they give freely to friends and family, often to groupies or other leeches who disappear as quickly as the money. Much of their life is spent in poverty and they usually die penniless and alone.
Artists are emotional. They are usually driven by emotion more than by rational thought. Most people share this trait, but it is greatly amplified in artists. They are known for volatile, often unpredictable actions that can become very damaging. Their emotions frequently override their logic, particularly in situations where the powerful emotions like love, hate, revenge, remorse, and similar others are aroused. They frequently get themselves into situations where there are no possible favorable solutions. Those who do learn to leash in their emotions can do so up to a point. Once that point is passed, emotions can burst forth with tremendous force, drowning all rational responses.
They are subject to most acts of debauchery and are often found in a drunken stupor, sometimes in an alley or gutter. For this reason, most artists die quite young, often by their own devices. Quite a few die of drug overdoses. A few die at the hands of the husband of one of their conquests. They are not a good risk for life insurance or investment.
Though they often woo and marry women they love deeply, even beautiful, loyal women, they are prone to cheat, given the opportunity. For some women, artists have almost a magical charm. Why they start a romance with a known bounder and expect to change him is beyond understanding. Tragic stories of these foolish adventures abound in literature and folklore.
Writers have all of the above plus a few peculiar to the species. They are wordsmiths, trained and practiced in the art of using words to paint pictures and scenarios of imaginary people and things. They are completely unbounded by facts and some are not even bound by natural laws. Science fiction and fantasy writers in particular are limited only by their considerable imaginations. As a result, when their work turns out badly, what do they do? They either discard it or rewrite it. There is a common belief among writers touted in books and lectures, “rewriting is the key to success.”
That would pose no problem if it were not carried over into the writer’s life experiences. What sometimes happens in real life is that the writer jumps in and acts in a similar manner to his writing. It’s, “If it doesn’t work out right, rewrite it!” But life cannot be “rewritten.” Things once said cannot be “unsaid. The vase once broken cannot be returned to its original condition. Real life happenings cannot be "rewritten."
The characters in their creations become as real people to the writer. In his mind he can hate them or love them. He can also use his talent as a wordsmith to manipulate their lives, even kill them, with no real consequences. He can even resurrect the ones he killed if he wants. Writers can come to view real live people the same way. They can become extremely disturbed when real people don’t follow his “script” which, of course, they don’t. There are many other problems associated with this imposition of creative writing into real life. One horrible true story is about a writer who became so enamored with one of his heroines that he committed suicide after writing of her sudden death. That’s quite obviously carrying “method writing” a bit too far.
Just think about artists as normal people whose emotions are much stronger than most and can shift into overdrive in an instant. The emotional fish story of the artist would not turn the small fish into a bigger one, but into a virtual whale.
On the positive side, artists including writers can be quite wonderful friends or companions. They are usually quite sensitive and try not to be hurtful to those they care for. Emotions directed to positive action can be wonderful resulting in deep and abiding love, unbelievable acts of kindness, some quite altruistic. They are also quite sensitive and can be hurt deeply and quickly, even by unintentional acts. Those without the negative traits can make affectionate and loyal friends, lovers, and husbands. Ah, but finding those with all positive traits borders on the impossible. So if you take a writer into your life as a friend or lover, even a very good one, be prepared to accept a few warts . . . maybe lots of warts.
- Howard Johnson, December, 2009
